


Never Another

by Rhang



Series: The Musician AU [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Music, Anal Sex, Angst, Bottom Bucky Barnes, Bottom Sam Wilson, Broken Heart, Bucky is going through it yet again, F/M, Flashbacks, Hurt feelings, Kissing, Longing, Looking back on memories, M/M, Making Love, Making Out, Musician!Bucky Barnes, Post-Break Up, Reconciliation, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-31
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-03-20 04:09:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 9,571
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18984964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rhang/pseuds/Rhang
Summary: Bucky is an indie musician. He's gaining fame and everyone loves him. It’s common knowledge that he writes and sings deeply about someone but no one knows who. It’s not until he takes an interview with a certain journalist one evening after his concert does the truth come out.





	1. The Interviewer

**Author's Note:**

> It’s that time of the year again! Last summer it was [The Bodyguard AU](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1056569). I got another AU for yalls' summer leisure reading. I hope you enjoy! :D
> 
> Any mistakes are mine.

_“Could you be happy with me?” he asked._

_They brushed their lips against his before pressing a soft kiss there. Bucky smiled and admired the one before him._

_“Who’s to say you haven’t already made me happy?” they said with joy in their words._

_Bucky felt elation in his veins as he pulled them close into a hug. If only-_

 

**Knock! Knock! Knock!**

Bucky woke up with a start and had to remind his self where he was. He was napping on his tour bus hours before his concert that evening. He sat up groaning a bit, he woke up way too fast. He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. He heard knocking again and looked around. He looked up to see one of his backup singers standing just outside his “room” at the back of the bus.

“Hey Jade,” he said softly.

“Sorry for waking you Buck, but you’re wanted for sound check,” she said softly before heading back off of the bus to grab a late lunch with the rest of the band.

Bucky got on his feet and rolled his shoulder where his prosthetic was feeling a bit uncomfortable. He looked around in his bags for a hair tier before stepping off the tour bus for the theater. He walked across the parking lot under the afternoon sun to get to the backdoor of the theater. He said hi to a few of the guys on his crew hanging out in the lot before heading inside. He carefully walked through the dark of backstage until he found the staircase he almost twisted his ankle on earlier. He climbed the stairs two at a time and looked around for anyone to give him some kind of direction. He was still sort of out of it. It was a late night after the show last night and as usual he wasn’t sleeping well out on tour.

He heard his manager’s voice and followed the sound, navigating his way between all of the backstage curtains. He saw Thor talking and coordinating with some of his team and walked over.

“He wakes!” Thor said greeting him.

“Whatever man,” Bucky said softly.

Thor looked at Bucky with his usual level of concern and wished the guy had better luck resting. He’d done all he could to space out the performances to give Bucky time to rest but even when there was two days in between the singer still looked tired.

“I know,” Thor said with understanding. “Val’s waiting for you on stage for sound check.”

Bucky walked out on the huge stage and saw the drums, microphones, backdrops and everything setup for the evening’s performance. He saw Val walk over from the other side of the stage in a flowing sundress for a change. She was typically a t-shirt and Chucks kind of women being the stage manager but he’d begun seeing a softer side since her time off before the tour started 3 months ago.

“Took you long enough,” she said.

“Hello to you too Mrs. Odinson,” Bucky said to piss her off. Messing with Val was always a good time, it was their thing.

Val gave him a look as she approached him.

“Don’t call me that,” she said pushing him in the shoulder before she walked to the front of the stage, gathered her dress and jumped down.

Bucky walked over to the mic stand, grabbed it with his flesh hand and tested the microphone, “ **Mic check, mic check** ,” he said before he followed it with, “ **Why else did you and Thor take 3 weeks off then Val? Just a convenient vacay together?** ”

Bucky looked over at Thor just off stage and saw him shaking his head at the two of them.

“ **I don’t think so** ,” he said looking back at Val in the audience as she flipped him off. “ **Thor get your wife** ,” Bucky said jokingly as his voice carried over the sound system throughout the theater.

“You’re on your own,” Thor said smiling happily.

“Be serious so we can get through this sound check will you?!” Val yelled.

“ **Fine, fine** ,” Bucky said as the audio tech started one of his tracks and they proceeded to check volume levels, transitions and pacing between songs.

 

 “You have an interview after your set tonight,” Thor informed Bucky in his dressing room as Riri just stepped out to open the show.

Bucky groaned. “You know I hate doing interviews after I perform. I’m always dead tired and I give the stupidest answers, Thor. Why??” Bucky whined.

“You slept all day so there wasn’t a better time. Plus it’s Jackson, so I thought you’d make the exception,” Thor explained coolly.

Bucky looked at his manager. “Jackson?”

“Yeah, she said it would be quick,” he relayed.

“Alright,” Bucky said softly, changing his tune.

Bucky took a moment to listen to the crowd cheering his stage name before he stepped out into the blinding light and roaring applause. He waved at everyone and thanked them for coming as he strapped on his guitar and started to play the first song.

“ **If you know it, do sing along. This one’s called ‘ _Never Another’_** ,” Bucky said into the mic as he prepared his self to give his all during his performance.

 

* * *

When Bucky finished his set and gave the audience an encore, he brought the band back out with him so he could take a bow with everyone. He asked for a round of applause for the band and for Riri, the show opener specifically. The crowd roared to life for the young singer as she waved sweetly from her spot beside Bucky before they all took their leave of stage for the final time. Everyone headed back to the lounge rooms to chill before they would head back to the hotel for the night.

“You killed it tonight!” Thor said ecstatically.

“Thanks man,” Bucky said guzzling down a bottle of water in the process.

“The interviewer is in your dressing room waiting,” Thor reminded him.

Bucky sighed out loud but knew he had to do Jackson these favors; she had helped him out a few times with some press early on when he was up and coming back in the day.  

He headed to his dressing room and kept in mind to keep the answers brief and not ramble on too long on any one question. He opened the door to his dressing room and froze. The person that was looking at the bouquet of roses on the table in the middle of the room turned around and looked at who had entered the room. They’re eyes locked and Bucky felt the air in his lungs immediately vacate.

It had been six years but he’d know those eyes, that face anywhere.

“Sam?” he breathed stepping into the room, closing the door behind him.

Sam warmly smiled and nodded. “Yeah. Going by just the middle name now? Buchanan? It suits you. Suits the music style too,” Sam said looking around the room before laying his eyes on Bucky again. “How you been man?”

Bucky was still processing how Sam was standing in his dressing room in a town just outside of New Orleans.

“How?” Bucky asked. It was all he could get out.

Sam nodded understanding. “Jackson. I owed her a favor. She needed this interview done by Monday and I was just down in New Orleans for the week, said I’d help her out,” Sam explained moving to have a seat on the couch against the bare brick wall of the dressing room.

Bucky suddenly came back to himself. “She sent a Pulitzer Prize winning journalist to do a music interview?” he wondered out loud only at the last minute realizing his statement gave away that he’d been keeping up with Sam’s career all this time.

Sam chuckled. “Yeah maybe it’s overkill, but I owe her one,” he said offering Bucky the other seat on the couch with him. “Should we get started? I know you must be tired and want to rest after that performance.”

“You watched the concert?”Bucky asked dumbfounded as he moved to sit down.

“Jackson sent me the ticket along with the assignment,” Sam said matter-of-factly as he pulled out his notepad and voice recorder. “Hope you don’t mind?”

“Not at all,” Bucky said as he looked at Sam’s face in detail and felt old emotions begin to bubble up in his chest. However Sam seemed unmoved in seeing him again after all this time.

Sam turned on the voice recorder and turned to Bucky.

“So, where to begin?” he asked. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is gonna get interesting. :)


	2. 8:31 P.M.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Because all great things have a beginning.

**– Eight Years Ago– **

He’d heard of love at first sight but he was never one to believe it. It was just something people would say. That was until Samuel Wilson walked into the bookstore where he worked as part of his work study in college his sophomore year. It was like everything went quiet for a moment and he heard a distinct ‘yes’ in his mind the moment he saw him. He watched Sam walk in that day with a group of his friends and felt drawn to the good looking guy with pretty eyes, a cute gap in his teeth and  amazing cheekbones. Bucky found himself consumed with looking and checking on what Sam was doing until Sam left that day.

Sam would enter the bookstore a few more times before Bucky approached him and asked him out.

To his surprise Sam accepted.

The first date was magical and he’d come to learn that Sam had noticed Bucky checking him out every time he visited the store. Bucky was just smitten with everything he’d learned about Sam and he couldn’t understand how someone he randomly met could be that wonderful. It was after their third date that Sam surprised him and they made out heavily in the back of Sam’s car.

On a chilly autumn night, Sam pulled Bucky on the backseat with him and kissed his way into his mouth. Bucky kissed him back, delirious and losing more of his reason the longer they kissed. Somewhere between Sam locking his fingers in his hair and grasping at Bucky’s jacket, Bucky knew right then and there he was kissing someone he’d always feel something for.

 

**– Present– **

It had been a few years since they’d seen each other but Bucky still looked good, Sam noticed. He still had those eyes that could bore into you if you looked into them too long. Bucky did look a bit tired but that could be from performing for an hour and a half, Sam figured.

“You’re an energetic performer. You give maximum energy when you need to but you switch tones very well when you perform the heavier or softer songs,” Sam said slipping into his interviewer tone as he told Bucky his impression of the concert and set the tone for the interview. “It’s obvious even to the casual listener that you’re singing about someone in particular. Who are you singing about?” Sam asked looking over at Bucky. 

Bucky was more than used to that question. Others had asked and he’d never given a definitive answer as to who he was singing about. It was a whole other thing to have the subject of all the songs he’d written in the past 6 years, over 2 albums, sitting in front of him asking the question.

“They’re about someone close to my heart,” Bucky answered truthfully.

“So you’re seeing someone?”

“Not currently.”

“So someone from your past?” Sam asked trailing off a bit with that question as he glanced up and saw Bucky watching him.

 Bucky only nodded his head slightly so Sam could see his response but not leave anything on the voice recorder.

“I guess you won’t be stating their name for the recorder?”

“No I will not,” Bucky said firmly.

“Got it. So tell me about the song ‘ _8:31_ _P.M.’._ What’s it about?” Sam asked changing topics.

Bucky smirked to himself and figured he might as well have fun with this interview if Sam wanted to superficially act like they had no history.

“It’s about singing someone’s name all the time, hoping they can hear it because it’s all you want to say,” Bucky explained, “About making out on an autumn night, _all night,_ with that special someone because the rest of the world falls away when they kiss you.”

“So it’s about love?” Sam asked.

“I would say new love, the feel of it. How everything is in sharp focus for that period of time because you don’t want to miss anything,” Bucky clarified.

Sam nodded and jotted down something on his notepad. “The title, why that time?”

Bucky looked over at Sam and wondered if he should give away the reason for the title. It had been another detail he’d decided never to share with anyone. But to not share the truth with Sam, the one with whom he made that time special, then no one else deserved to know.

He swallowed the smile on his lips.

“What man?”

“You really want to know?” Bucky asked teasingly.

“Yeah,” Sam replied wondering what the other was holding on to.

“It’s got more to do with my song ‘ _Firelight’_ than anything else, that’s all I’m going to say about that,” Bucky said shaking his head.

He doubted Sam would get the hint but then again it really didn’t matter all that much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What is it about that time in particular? I wonder.


	3. Firelight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some moments in time mean a bit more than others.

**– Eight Years Ago– **

Bucky opened the door to his apartment and invited Sam in. Sam could hardly believe Bucky could even afford to live off campus as a junior. The place was small, but better than the dorms with their paper thin walls and constant noise. As envious as he was, Sam was happy they had somewhere private they could go. They’d been dating for a month now so having some alone time was getting to be pretty important to each of them.

“Want something to drink?” Bucky asked heading to the kitchen.

“Yeah sure,” Sam said following him into the other room.

They stood around the kitchen and drank their beers for a while, joking and talking before Bucky looked at the time and saw it was getting late. He couldn’t tell you why but he was feeling bold, and most of all, comfortable in the moment to say what came out of his mouth next.

He looked over at Sam as he finished his beer and tucked some of his hair back behind his ear. “You’re welcome to stay the night,” he offered.

Sam looked up into his eyes at that offer. They’d been taking it slow and letting things develop in their own pace since their little make out session a while ago. Sam still didn’t know what came over him that night, but he couldn’t say he was ashamed. Bucky was one hell of a kisser. So hearing Bucky suggest he stay the night, it lit something inside of Sam’s chest. Something Sam had to admit he’d been tamping down on for a few weeks.

Sam stood up and on walked over. Bucky watched him lean against the counter beside him. Sam looked him up and down before leaning in a bit.

“I don’t feel like I’d be doing much sleeping if I stayed,” Sam said softly.

Bucky licked his lips and grinned. “You can do as much or as little as you want,” Bucky said softly.

“That right?” Sam asked as he stepped closer and brushed his hand against Bucky’s hip. He placed a kiss on Bucky’s lips and felt Bucky pull him closer.

 

Bucky consciously stopped himself from pounding the fist of his prosthetic hand onto the countertop and instead scratched his fingernails against the surface and whined under his breath at how good Sam was fucking him. From Sam’s steady grip on his hip to the hand Sam had resting on his shoulder, Bucky didn’t want it to end.

“Harder Sam, oh fuck harder, please,” Bucky breathed as he listened to Sam’s moans and heavy breathing at his back.

Bucky dipped his back a bit lower by opening his foot stance to give Sam a better angle and felt pleasure touch every cell in his body. Bucky moaned aloud and rested his forehead against his forearm.

“That good?” Sam asked as he slowed his thrusts down a bit.

“Goddammit you have no idea,” Bucky breathed as he felt a shiver rush up his spine as he felt Sam take his erection in his fist. Bucky shut his eyes and felt his chest tighten. It was one thing to fantasize about having sex with Sam and Bucky was quickly learning it was wholly another to endure it. He bit his bottom lip and felt his stomach tighten and everything quickly rushed into sharp focus as Sam started pounding into him again.

Bucky sat up and sighed as Sam continued to stroke him and used his other hand to feel up under his shirt at his nipple.

“Sam, yes, please,” Bucky breathed. He suddenly felt Sam’s lips at the back of his neck and that was all it took. Bucky released a singular gasp as his orgasm rushed free and he felt Sam stroke him through it. He grasped at the hand Sam had under his shirt and held it tight. He tried to catch his breath, tried to come down from that glorious high as he only faintly registered Sam placing kisses on his shoulders and back.

“You good?” Sam asked softly.

Bucky could only nod. He felt Sam pull out and glanced back to see the other discard the condom.

“Did you-?” Bucky asked hoping Sam did and if he didn’t Bucky was ready to remedy that immediately.

“Oh yeah,” Sam said smirking. “No choice with an ass like that.” He brushed his lips against Bucky’s before kissing him deeply.

“Mmm, so you’re staying tonight right?”Bucky asked as they separated to breathe.

“Yea-,” Sam breathed as a sharp ringtone pierced the silence of the kitchen. It was Sam’s phone. 

Sam stepped back and reached for his cell in his coat pocket to see who was calling. It was his roommate. “It’s Rhodey, just let me tell him I won’t be back tonight.”

Sam stepped back further and took the call. Bucky only felt marginally weird standing in his kitchen with no pants on but he really couldn’t think about it as he was still enjoying his post-orgasmic high at 8:31 P.M. on a Saturday night.

 

 

**– Present –**

It was dawning on Sam that Bucky had maybe written a song or two about him but they couldn’t all be about him. That would just be self centered to believe. He remembered that autumn night Bucky alluded to. He remembered how head over heels they were for each other at the time. It was such a different time back then.

A song Bucky performed toward the middle of the set rang back to Sam’s mind as he heard the chorus again and again in his mind.

“The song where you repeat ‘set me ablaze’,” Sam said wishing he could remember the title.

“That’s ‘ _Firelight_ ’,” Bucky confirmed.

“Talk to me about that one. It’s chorus is stuck in my mind right now,” Sam admitted with a smile.

Bucky admired the expression on the other’s face and the sentiment Sam had expressed. Bucky felt a specific type of accomplishment at hearing Sam say that. However he grinned darkly as he thought about the origins of _Firelight_ , the slow tempo, bass filled, unabashed cry of lust for your love. He relaxed back on the couch and licked his lips as he looked over at Sam as he awaited his response.  

“I won’t lie; it’s probably the horniest song on the new album.” He laughed. “It’s what I wanted to write when I wrote _‘Fervor’_ for the first album. I just couldn’t get the sound right, but it came together for ‘ _Firelight’_ earlier this year,” he recalled. “It’s a song about being drunk on your love with someone, wanting it to set you ablaze.”

He watched Sam scribble something down and waited for him to look at him. But when he wouldn’t Bucky continued.

“It’s a song about laying it bare before the other and willing to give them any and everything they want at a moment’s notice,” Bucky added. 

Sam couldn’t look Bucky in the eye. He did remember some of the really intense, intimate moments he’d shared with Bucky, also the exact moment he’d told Bucky he’d give him ‘ _any and everything_ ’ while they were once making love. If he could blush, Sam was sure he’d be giving himself away at the moment.

Sam had to admit, they’d had some good times together.

But they were young, Sam reminded himself. It wasn’t love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You have to admire how they are literally tap dancing around the conversation they actually want to have right now. LOL


	4. Never Another

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ask and you shall receive…some kind of answer.

**– Present – **

There was a bit of silence as Sam scribbled down some notes from their last exchange.

“Are you seeing someone these days?” Bucky asked. He didn’t think it too forward to ask an old flame such a question.  

Sam stopped his note taking to look into Bucky’s blue eyes as they awaited his answer.

“Are you interviewing me or am I interviewing you?” Sam asked in an attempt to keep control of the conversation.

“It’s just a question,” Bucky said softly with a smile to disarm.

Sam finished up taking his notes down and answered softly, “Not for a few months.”

Bucky nodded to himself as the door to his dressing room opened suddenly. It was young Riri Williams.

“Oh sorry!” she said. The young singer had already changed out of her stage outfit and was in some baggy clothes and her locs were neatly wrapped up in her headscarf. Bucky couldn’t blame her, oh how he wanted to change out of his stage clothes too.

“You’re good Ri, what’s up?” Bucky said perking up in response to the teen.

“Buck! My name Dad wants to know should they wait for you, they’re going to a bar,” the young singer asked.

He looked at Sam and felt like they were just getting somewhere. “Tell your Dad thanks but I’ll have to pass,” Bucky said.

“Alright, night!” she said closing the door again.

There was another moment of silence before Sam smiled and chuckled a bit.

“She was phenomenal opening the show,” Sam admitted.

Bucky smiled wide. “Yeah she’ll be headlining in no time just watch, she’s got the pipes,” Bucky said remembering when Val mentioned her name and suggested she be the opener for the second leg of the tour. Bucky had reservations with having a 16 year old on tour with him but once he heard her sing for the first time, he knew she needed to get out there and be heard by as many people as possible.

“I don’t doubt it,” Sam said softly as he thought about what to ask next. “ _‘Never Another’_ , tell me about it.”

Bucky looked into Sam’s eyes. “It’s about not wanting anyone else. When you’re willing to give everything to keep that person. Make a life with them,” Bucky said as Sam held his eye contact before nodding and returning his eyes to his notepad.

 

**– Seven Years Ago– **

They’d just got back from having lunch and were lazily lounging on the couch in Bucky’s living room watching a movie. Bucky was then overcome with the feeling he was feeling more often in those days. _He didn’t want anyone else._ If someone asked, he’d only wish for eternal days like this with Sam. Wake up late from going out the night before, good food, his guitar, the best company within Sam and falling asleep beside him each night. Bucky was a child of divorced parents, to say he was disenchanted by the idea of marriage would be putting it mildly but that somehow had no bearing on his want to wake up next Sam for the rest of his life.

He could be happy with Sam; he knew that…he wanted that.

The realization hit him like a ton of bricks the moment he really thought about it and ever since he just wanted to hold onto Sam even tighter.

He looked over at his boyfriend and got up to lie close to him.

“Could you be happy with me?” he asked Sam as an open ended question.

Sam looked over at the other.

Sam brushed his lips against Bucky’s before pressing a soft kiss there. Bucky smiled and admired the look in Sam’s light brown eyes.

“Who’s to say you haven’t already made me happy?” Sam said with joy in his words.

Bucky felt elation in his veins as he pulled Sam close to hug him. He let Sam go and went back to watching the movie until he realized Sam was watching him. 

“What?” Bucky asked glancing over at Sam.

Sam shook his head and smirked. “Nothing,” he said softly.

Bucky felt warmth pool in his bones at the look in Sam’s eye. He took a chance and moved closer to the other.

“You got plans later?” Sam asked leaning Bucky’s way.

Bucky looked at Sam’s lips then trailed a look up to his eyes. “I’ve got nowhere to be. Why, had something in mind?”

Sam shrugged as he moved even closer and brushed his lips against Bucky’s.

Bucky felt his breath shake a bit before he gave in and pulled Sam close into a kiss. Sam moaned into Bucky’s lips, finally receiving the kiss he wanted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I’ve figured things out and applied the time, I’ll be updating this a bit faster. The remaining chapters are complete and I have the next fic in the series in the final stages of the first draft. So no more waiting between updates, yay!!
> 
> So strap the fuck in. The next chapter? It’s. Going. Down.


	5. Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> However things do change.

**_– Seven Years Ago– _ **

Senior year was in high gear and both of them were swamped with class work, internships and their jobs. They’d both been getting busier and hadn’t been making time for one another. They did their best to text, to speak at least once a day to say ‘I love you’. So when Sam had to go away for a while right during the really busy period they’d been having, he didn’t want Sam to think he didn’t care anymore.

“So…I was thinking of driving up to see you this weekend. What do you think?” Bucky asked as he washed dishes. He could hear the exhaustion in his boyfriend’s voice as they talked and wished he could comfort him. 

“I appreciate the sentiment babe, I do. But I’m so busy. It wouldn’t be worth it,” Sam breathed through the phone.

That gave Bucky pause.

“I’d be with you Sam,” Bucky said. He’d tried to chuckle but he couldn’t fake the emotion. “How is that not worth it?”

They proceeded to avoid getting into a fight by talking around the subject and what they really wanted to say. They ended up hanging up with the promise to talk the next day.

They didn’t talk until the following day and didn’t see each other for another week.

They’d planned a date night out together and spent the night together. Bucky wasn’t sure how he knew but he knew things didn’t feel right while they were together. This was his favorite person, this was Sam, he didn’t understand how being with him didn’t feel the same all of a sudden. He held Sam a bit closer that night as he could feel them drifting from one another.

The next morning he woke up to sunlight in his bedroom but no Sam. A note lay in his place. Bucky felt his hands shake as he picked it up to read. He only skimmed it but he knew from a couple sentences Sam wasn’t coming back.

He called, tried to reach out for clarity, an explanation, anything. But he was completely cut off in some aspects and ignored in others. He never saw Sam again.

The silence hurt more than anything for the longest.  

 

 

**– Present – **

Things took a turn when Sam mentioned a song Bucky hadn’t performed on stage.

“You put a lot of thought into titling your music. But I've always wondered about the song _‘Day’_ , your smash hit,” Sam said. “Why the title? It doesn't seem to have anything to do with the song itself.”

“It does,” Bucky replied. He really didn’t want to talk about that song.

“How so?”

“The promise goes ‘forever and a day’ right? I imagine the song is what it feels like when that day after forever finally comes,” Bucky said feeling his throat tighten a bit on his words. He cleared his throat and stated curtly, “I don’t perform that song.”

“Exactly. It’s your platinum single, 44 weeks at number **–**.”

“I know the numbers,” Bucky said flatly.

Sam was interested in the sudden change in Bucky’s demeanor upon discussing this one song. It was interesting. “Why don’t you perform it?”

“Have you listened to it?” Bucky asked.

“Yeah, it’s about a break-up but it’s fun to dance to,” Sam said.

Bucky stared at Sam after hearing him say that and felt his heart tense in his chest.

“I recorded that song the same day I wrote it. I was drunk out of my mind, near tears the whole time I sang it. No one was ever meant to hear it. But the producer of my first album heard part of it. He liked it, and we got into it. He went to the label and they forced me to record it. I made them change the tempo and a few of the lyrics and I vowed never to perform it for any reason. It made it on the album, second single…and the rest is history,” Bucky said from an aching place that never quite healed properly.

Sam stared at Bucky and felt his heart hurt for him.

“For almost a year I had to listen to my lowest point everywhere I went. At the coffee shop, on the radio, in the club, people were dancing to my heartache,” he explained staring at the ground.

He heard the distinct sound of the voice recorder being turned off. He looked over at Sam showing him the recorder was off.

Sam tossed it back in his bag before asking, “The song? Is it about us?”

“Yes,” Bucky confessed looking into Sam’s eyes. “I woke up and you were gone, nothing but a note. All the times I called you, you never called me back. By those facts alone I should _hate_ your guts…and yet…you’re still in my dreams at night.”

Sam took a deep breath and sat back on the couch as he stared across the room trying to remember why he acted the way he did back then.

“We were kids James. It was all so much, so fast,” Sam said shaking his head as if he could see it all happening before his eyes all over again. “I just remember being with you was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before. It was too much. _Too intense_. I didn’t have perspective, any point of reference. I got scared. I felt like we were headed in a direction I wasn’t ready for and I needed to get out. That’s all I remember thinking,” Sam explained.

“But a note Sam? _A fucking note?_ **WHAT?!** You couldn’t _talk to me_? Like I wouldn’t understand or something?” Bucky said standing up to put some distance between them. He couldn’t believe how Sam had just sat there and made it seem like _Bucky_ was the one who had moved too fast.

“That’s **NOT** what I’m saying! Believe me, you have no idea how many times I’ve thought about that morning and _wished_ I didn’t write it. Wished I had just woken you up and talked to you about what I was feeling,” Sam said getting up. “But I didn’t and I can’t change that James but I _would_ if I _could_. I’m just telling you what was going on with _me_ at the time.”

“SIX YEARS Sam! You’ve known where I’ve been, you _must_ have heard my music, you must have known it was you. _All this time_! They were all about _you_!” Bucky confessed feeling tears come to his eyes. “Do you have any idea what it’s like to have your life’s work revolve around someone you _can’t have_?” Bucky said walking up to Sam so they were face to face.

He looked into Sam’s eyes and could feel the draw to kiss him as if not a moment of time had passed between them.

“To live with memories of having met the one you want and know you lost them too soon? Not knowing why they left or if it was something you did wrong? To have to write your emotions down so you’ll have a moment’s peace because otherwise you just can’t deal with the pain?”

Sam looked into his eyes and felt tears begin in his own.

“I do,” Sam admitted feeling the words leave his mouth.

Bucky stared at him confused.

Sam sobbed. “It didn’t happen immediately but a few months after we broke up, I realized what a mistake it had been leaving, and not just telling you that we needed to slow down. But by then I was convinced you wouldn’t ever want to see me again. That I’d ruined it, all of it, and I’d just have to live with that fact for the rest of my life,” Sam confessed wiping his eyes.

Bucky looked at Sam’s face and took in his words. He chose then to pull Sam into a rough kiss. Sam kissed him back and Bucky felt the anger, joy and pain he’d held inside all those years dissipate slowly as he kissed Sam again.

 _He tastes the same_ , Bucky thought to himself.

Bucky remembered every time before that he’d kissed Sam and yet this was probably going to be his favorite. Bucky pulled Sam into his body and couldn’t believe he had Sam in his arms again.

They broke their kiss to breathe and Bucky whispered, “I love you. I’ve always loved you.”

“I love you too. I'm so sorry for leaving, I'm sorry for not saying something,” Sam said as more tears fell down his cheeks. He sobbed, "I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry."

Bucky wiped Sam’s cheeks clear of tears before he kissed him again. This time slower, savoring and imparting the feelings he’d just confessed to Sam through a tender kiss.

"I forgive you," Bucky whispered as they parted from one another. He looked into Sam's eyes and held his gaze. 

Sam hadn’t expected any of this to happen but it was silly to think otherwise. Like celestial bodies in the heavens, there was no way they’d get this close again, after all that time apart, and not pull closer to one another.

They were as infallible as gravity.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So what are we feeling after all that? Talk to me. :)


	6. I Know You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could we have this always?

They talked softly and exchanged kisses as the evening grew late. There were deeper talks to be had but neither could bring themselves to discuss it there, in a moment when holding one another seemed more important than anything else after all that time.

“Don’t wanna let you go,” Bucky admitted as he had Sam standing between his legs as he leaned against the vanity in the dressing room.

“I don’t want to go,” Sam said softly.

“Come back to my hotel room,” Bucky suggested as he placed a kiss on Sam’s neck.

Sam couldn’t help but make the joke. “From interviewer to groupie, real classy,” Sam said smiling.

Bucky looked at him with heavy lidded, lusty eyes and pecked a kiss on his full lips. 

“You could never be a groupie love,” Bucky whispered into Sam’s cheek. It was like a switch had flipped, he was all about Sam all over again, but to be honest this part of him never really went away. The source of his affections just left the picture. But Sam was back and Bucky was in the mood to hold Sam close for as long as he could. “Did you drive?”

“I did,” Sam replied.

Bucky gave Sam his hotel and room number as well as his cell number. “I’ll be waiting for you,” Bucky said softly.

Sam nodded as Bucky stood up. He watched Bucky walk out of the dressing room and looked around when he was all alone again.

 _How in the hell does he do that?_ Sam wondered as he tried to remember the way to his own hotel and tamp down on the want to go straight to Bucky’s. He needed to drop his things off at his own room before heading over there.

Bucky walked out of the dressing room feeling lifted. He headed back into the lounge area and found Val sitting in Thor’s lap chilling. She was whispering in his ear and he was grinning at whatever she was telling him.

Bucky cleared his throat so the couple would know they weren’t alone.

“That was a long ass interview,” Val pointed out laying eyes on Bucky.

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed ready to get to the hotel so he could have some privacy with Sam again but also unwind and change clothes after his performance three hours prior. “We ready to head out?”

“Yeah, let’s go,” Thor said standing. He picked Val up into his arms in the process.

“Put me down,” she protested.

“Not a chance darling,” he said as he carried her toward the exit door so they could get to the parking lot.

Bucky followed them out and checked his phone for any texts from Sam. There was just one.

 _Be there in an hour, I need some things from my hotel_ , the text read.

Bucky smiled to his self and followed the other two outside to get in the car as the tour bus had already left with the band.

 

* * *

The knock on his hotel room door 40 minutes after he’d arrived caused Bucky jump to his feet to answer it.  He took a deep breath before he opened the door.

Sam looked up from his feet and looked at Bucky. Are _we really going to do this?_ Sam wondered as he stepped into the room.

“No one at the door?” Sam wondered out loud.

“My room is listed as Val’s at the front desk. She and Thor are in mine,” Bucky explained coolly, welcoming Sam in. Bucky quietly noticed the small bag on Sam’s shoulder. 

 _He planned to stay the night_ , Bucky thought happily.

Sam put his bag down on a nearby table as he looked around the amazing suite. There was literally a chandelier in the entrance way for crying out loud! Large tiles covered the floor all over. Yeah Sam had traveled the world a few times for work, but he’d never seen a hotel room like this before. It once again brought the contrast between his life and Bucky’s into focus.

“So what now?” Sam asked allowing his eyes to rest on his host.

Bucky guided Sam through the full living room in the penthouse suite and showed Sam the spread he’d had ordered to the room for them on the dining table. Sam thought his jaw would drop. There was steak, fish, vegetables, potatoes, even some cake for dessert.

“You still like steak and potatoes right?” Bucky asked pulling out Sam’s chair for him.

“Yeah,” Sam said softly as he took a seat. He was touched that Bucky remembered what he liked. “This is amazing Buck, thank you.”

“Being a star has it’s perks,” Bucky said shrugging as he sat beside Sam at the table to eat.

They ate slowly, taking their time to catch up and talk. Bucky wanted to know more than anything what Sam had been up. What he’d seen, what had been his favorite stories to write, how did it feel to win the Prize. He sat rapt as Sam answered question after question, smiling to himself at how the tables had turned and Sam was now the one in the hot seat. It had been six years; there was so much to catch each other up on.

After they’d finished their food, Bucky started clearing their plates.

“You’ve had a long day. The bathroom’s all yours if you’d like to shower and get comfortable,” Bucky said as he offered to show Sam the way. Sam grabbed his overnight bag and followed Bucky to the bathroom. Bucky left him to it and shut the door behind him.

Sam looked around the bathroom and pushed away the thought that the bathroom alone was the size of his hotel room across town. But Bucky was right. He’d had a long day and for all he’d been through he should have felt more tired than he was. But Sam felt as though he could stay awake for another twelve hours if he had to.

He stripped down and got in the shower. He scrubbed and washed his skin as he thought about what he was actually doing. He was currently in a $500 a night hotel suite after an assignment where he was supposed to complete a simple interview, only for the person to end up being his ex. Sam decided not to dwell on the fact that he was probably going to sleep with his ex and instead sobered himself with the fact he had no clue what either of them wanted out of this after tonight. Bucky was a fuckin’ music star! Sam was a journalist that lived out of a suitcase…and enjoyed it.

How were they going to make this work?

He stood under the shower spray and tried to be upset at his predicament but couldn’t with 18 shower jets currently hitting him in all the right places.

He took his time getting out of the shower and decided to slip on one of the soft, expensive robes hanging in the bathroom. He walked out of the bathroom onto the cool tile all around the suite and went looking for Bucky. The bedroom was dark but he heard the TV going somewhere. Sam wandered around and found Bucky chilling on the couch, watching a movie.

Sam shook his head and walked up behind the other man. He caressed his hand down against Bucky’s chest to get his attention. Bucky turned to look at him.

“You gonna watch TV right now?” Sam asked with a totally different question laced within his words.

Bucky noticed Sam was wearing one of the fluffy white robe from the bathroom. He turned off the TV and got up to round the couch. He looked into Sam’s eyes and took the hand Sam offered him to follow him back into the bedroom.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder where this is going. LOL. (We know where this going.)


	7. The Reconnect

Bucky pulled Sam into his arms when they entered the bedroom and kissed his lips.

Bucky hadn’t felt this drawn to anyone in ages. It was such a change of pace. He loved it. He could only think about Sam and getting closer to him. The face, lips and body that had featured in his dreams all these years was back within his reach and Bucky was more than willing to accept whatever fortune the Universe had shed upon him. It brought Sam back to him and he was thankful.

Sam held tight to Bucky and remembered how the feeling of Bucky’s lips on his skin used to mean the world and Sam could understand why once again. Bucky’s kiss was electric and sent heat sizzling just underneath Sam’s skin wherever he pressed them. He knew he had no right to wonder, nor even ask, but part of Sam wanted to know how many had felt Bucky’s kiss, experienced it this way. A selfish part of Sam wanted to believe this was only something they could share; that only Sam could feel Bucky’s kiss this way because Bucky had saved these kisses just for him.

Another part, a darker part, relished at the idea that others _had_ experienced it but couldn’t hold onto to Bucky. That Bucky’s heart belonged with Sam. It was something Sam wanted to believe deep in his core because it was becoming evident, the longer he spent in Bucky’s arms, that Sam’s heart had been Bucky’s all this time.

Bucky brushed his tongue against Sam’s and heard the other moan softly. Sam forgot he even missed that sound. Sam pushed closer to him and felt his hand underneath Bucky’s t-shirt, brushing his fingertips over the hem of his shorts. 

Bucky tugged at the sash of Sam’s robe and realized Sam had nothing on underneath it.

“You’re just getting right down to it aren’t ya?” Sam whispered as Bucky placed his hand within the robe and touched Sam’s skin as their kiss broke.

“Did you come here to play cards or fuck?” Bucky asked breathy as he worked at sucking a mark on Sam’s neck.

“Depends,” Sam moaned for a moment. “Do you have some cards around here?”

Bucky shook his head and laughed. “Oh my gosh. Shut up Sam,” he whispered as Sam started laughing as well. They took a moment to laugh together, to wear away any seriousness the evening had garnered given their circumstances meeting again; to laugh and become just themselves with one another.

Bucky let Sam go and took his shirt off as he moved to the bed and pulled back the covers. Sam loosened the tie on his robe further and crawled up to the top of the King sized bed as Bucky did the same. Bucky laid down and brought Sam to lie down on top of him.

“Mmm, for once I’m in bed with you and it’s not a dream,” Bucky said before placing a kiss on Sam’s cheek. “Part of me can’t believe this is happening.”

“Well let me see if I can do better than your imagination,” Sam teased. “Show you that it’s not a dream.”

Bucky grinned at Sam’s words and looked forward to learning Sam all over again.  

 

 

Sam brushed the hair back from Bucky’s eyes as he brought him up from between his legs. He looked into his blue eyes and remembered how giving a lover Bucky was. Sam felt a shiver cross his skin when he remembered just how giving Bucky could be. The late nights and afternoons intertwined and absorbed in one another just falling deeper and deeper into a trance of their own making.

“James please,” Sam whispered, grasping onto Bucky’s shoulders; asking with as many words as he could manage for the other to continue.

Bucky kissed softly against Sam’s arm and wondered if they should. If he could go down this road again with Sam; could his heart take another break if they couldn’t make it work this time? Bucky looked into Sam’s rich brown eyes and realized he’d made that decision the moment he gave Sam his room number back in the dressing room.  

Bucky got up and grabbed the condom and lube he put on the bed side table just in case. Sam took the condom and rolled it onto Bucky slowly, maintaining eye contact with him the entire time.

 _Now was there anything as hot as that?_ Bucky wondered as he kissed Sam again and started opening him up slowly.

“Oh fuck baby yeah,” Sam whispered as he turned away from their kiss for a moment to deal with the sensation of Bucky fingering him open. It had been a couple months since he’d bottomed but even still, Bucky knew what he was doing, where to touch and how. It was devastating. “Fuck baby, oh fuck,” Sam moaned grasping at the pillow nearby as he closed his eyes and felt his toes curl.

 _Goddamn_ , Sam thought.  

Bucky smirked darkly as he soaked up Sam’s moans and little sounds of pleasure. He’d missed hearing them. He opened Sam slowly, almost making him cum accidentally. He’d had to let Sam cool off a bit before they could move on. He used to be better at managing that. Bucky remembered a time they were so in tune they could ride the edge of orgasm for an hour together.

Bucky took his time entering Sam, savoring Sam’s grasping hands and short breaths as he settled in deep and came to a rest within him. Bucky felt a complex ball of emotions swirl in his chest as he waited for Sam to adjust. He felt Sam’s thighs relax around his hips a bit and he looked at the other for some kind of confirmation.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Sam nodded completely certain he’d cum in the next two minutes. He was mostly there before Bucky entered him and now that they were joined, Sam could hardly stave off the impending need or delay it from happening.

Bucky thrust gently at first and soon picked up speed, sort of losing himself in the feeling again with Sam beneath him. He held Sam’s hip with his flesh hand and used his prosthetic arm for support as he worked to get Sam there.

“Yeah, baby…right there…,” Sam moaned holding Bucky close. “Right there.”

Bucky closed his eyes and kissed Sam’s lips. Hearing Sam call him that, ‘ _baby_ ’, how many times had he heard Sam say it from his memories? Memories he could only visit again in his dreams for a time. Now he had this.

 

Laying in the dark together as the sweat cooled on their skin Sam didn’t want the high of orgasm to wear away just yet. He felt warm and gooey, the way only a really good fuck or two had the power to do. He didn’t want to think about the question that had been with him most of the evening. But soon Sam couldn’t stand not knowing.

“How Buck?” Sam asked a bit worried after a while. “How…are we going to do this?”

Sam was partially afraid that maybe Bucky didn’t want him back. That maybe tonight was all Bucky wanted; just something casual to square the past between them and leave everything on a decent note.  

Bucky searched for Sam’s hand in the dark and picked it up into his own when he found it. He laced his fingers together with Sam’s.

“Hopefully together,” Bucky said tentatively as he grasped onto Sam’s hand. He waited and hoped with everything in his heart that Sam wanted to make an effort as well.

Sam looked at their fingers intertwined in the dark and was thankful Bucky couldn’t see him at the moment as a tear fell from the corner of his eye. Sam grasped back, holding onto Bucky. Happy beyond words he hadn’t read the whole situation wrong.  

 _They_ could do this, Sam realized.

“I have five more stops on the tour and then I’m done,” Bucky said looking over at Sam as he brushed his thumb against the back of Sam’s hand.

“How long is that?” Sam asked wondering where he would be in a few weeks with work.

“Two months,” Bucky said softly as he moved closer and brushed his lips against Sam’s. “Two months and I’m all yours for however long you want to go away.”

Sam kissed Bucky softly before he looked into his eyes. He’d missed Bucky _so_ much. It was a shame it took a chance interview to make him see that. Sam couldn’t see it before, but what they had was not to be found anywhere else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just one chapter left! Who's ready??


	8. Let's Steal Away

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Good things come to those with patience.

**– TWO MONTHS LATER–**

It had been a long ass flight but Sam couldn’t really be mad, he was flying into Paris for once and it wasn’t work related. No story to cover, no meetings to attend. He walked the long trek across Charles de Gaulle airport and headed to baggage claim to retrieve his bags. Afterward he walked to the visitor greeting area and looked around. He saw several chauffeurs in black tuxes with names written on white paper. He looked around and had to do a double take when he saw his name on a piece of cardboard being held by a young woman in a flannel shirt, jeans, sneakers and sunglasses.

He looked around thinking there may be another Wilson somewhere before he walked up to the woman and realized it was Val.

“Hey Val,” Sam said happily at seeing a familiar face.

She dropped her sunglasses to the tip of her nose and looked at Sam. She looked at the picture on her phone then pushed her sunglasses back up again.

"Seriously?" Sam commented at her. They'd met two months ago before he and Bucky parted ways as Bucky and the tour had to move on to the next city.

“Can't be too careful," she said simply. "Follow me.”

Sam hustled with his bags and followed close behind her to keep up. She walked out of the airport without a look back and headed into the parking garage across from the terminal. They approached a large black, Cadillac Escalade where a tall, blonde man with a handsome face, smiled waiting for them. Sam could only assume that was Thor.

The blonde man came over to help him with his bags and put them in the back of the truck as the woman got in the passenger seat of the truck.

“Please get in,” Thor said kindly as he closed the back hatch of the truck as he'd finished with the bags.

Sam went back around and opened the door to the backseat and saw Bucky sitting there, hair brushed back, smiling calmly.

“Baby!” Sam said happily as he got in the truck, tossed his backpack in the back then dove forward to pull Bucky close and kiss him.

Bucky had told him they’d meet up in Paris. That Bucky was in Spain and would be in Paris the day after but Val and Thor would be there to set him up at the apartment until he arrived.

“Thought you were busy ‘til tomorrow?” Sam whispered against his lips.

“I’m not missing a day with you,” Bucky said brushing his thumb against Sam’s cheek before he kissed him again.

“You two are gross,” Val said looking back at them.

Thor leaned over and popped a kiss on his wife’s cheek. “No worries babe, I’ll kiss you like that later,” he told her.

Sam smiled at them then looked at Bucky and leaned his forehead against his.

“Missed you,” Sam whispered.

“Missed you too, baby,” Bucky said softly.

They hadn’t seen one another in three weeks as Bucky had to finish up the end of his tour and get some final business handled. Bucky called him a week ago and told him to pack heavy for a vacation. Thankfully Sam had time saved up and started packing at once.

“Ready for a three month vacation?” Bucky asked.

Sam closed his eyes and hugged Bucky close around the neck as he felt Bucky hold him close in his arms. Three months in these arms, day and night; Sam had no words at the thought of that kind of joy. 

 

 

* * *

**EPILOGUE**

Resting in bed beside Sam in his Paris apartment, Bucky couldn’t really be too upset with how it all worked out for them. Yeah, they’d missed some time together in the middle there, but both of them were more than willing to make up for the missed time together.

 _A vacation in Paris was a damn good start_ , Bucky thought to his self as he smiled inside at all the things he had planned for their trip in the coming weeks.  

“I really like ‘ _Never Another’_. I think it’s my favorite by you,” Sam whispered in the dark. “Could you sing it to me?”

“Oh baby,” Bucky whispered as he pulled Sam closer as they cuddled. “Coming from you that means more than any music award I could receive. But I hope you _really_ enjoyed the concert…because you’re never going to hear me sing live in front of you again.”

“What?!” Sam said sitting up.

Bucky chuckled and shrugged where he lay in bed. “I’ll give you a CD. I can even get you a special studio acoustic version if you want. But I’m not singing in front of you babe.”

“Why not!” Sam asked outraged.

Bucky shook his head. “I can’t _perform_ in front of you Sam, I can’t. I wrote most of that stuff about us, I can’t… _sing_ that back to you…hell no,” Bucky said completely turned off by the idea.

“You know that sounds like a cop-out right?”

“I don’t care,” Bucky said smiling. “I’m not doing it.”

Sam laid back down and sighed. “I want to hear that studio acoustic version,” Sam admitted.

Bucky laughed. “I’ll look for the file in the morning, how about that?” he offered turning over to wind his leg around Sam’s.

“Guess that’s okay,” Sam conceded as he got comfortable again. “Count on you to step on such a romantic moment. I literally handed you the chance to serenade me and you punted.”

Bucky frowned at the football reference before rolling his eyes. Bucky snuggled close to Sam while laying across his chest.

“Remember you have to work on writing your new album while you’re out here,” Sam said, not wanting to be held responsible for keeping the indie heartthrob’s fans waiting on their new music.

“The new album can wait,” Bucky mumbled.

He was in no rush to write. He wasn’t plagued by unresolved emotions, feelings or memories. He wasn’t pressed to keep his self busy so he wouldn’t think about painful things. The urgency had altogether dissipated. He would figure out how to create in the absence of that force, but that was work for another day. Right then Bucky just wanted to sleep soundly in the arms of his love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What a vacation that was! Lemme tell you lol! 
> 
> This isn't the end but I gotta get my thank you in to yall that faithfully keep coming back to read what I post here. Yall are honestly the reason I'm making content this steadily. (So you're bringing it upon yourselves lmao. :D) Anyways I think 3 days between updates is working for me. It's not too long and not so frequent that I'm blowing yall up with notifications. So we'll stick with it.


End file.
